Hey friends! I'm on my way to the NC Fairgrounds where a friend and I will be having a yardsale all weekend. I also have Peru training this weekend, mothers' day Sunday, and "daddy buddy" (what I called myself as a toddler) day (a day to hang out just me and dad, doing whatever he would like) on Monday! Then Friday is the Argentina benefit dinner (you should come!! details on the Facebook event), and Saturday I leave for training camp the the Race! I will leave dor South America on the 31st of may! It's all coming fast, but it's all great! Jesus is great!
Anyway, in addition to that quick update, I wanted to share something cool with you. I was recently featured in Adventures in Missions' Kingdom Dreams site! I met up with them while they were on tour last fall, and Teri checked back in with me for an update. Kingdom Dreams is a wonderful ministry that has blessed me so much! Check out the post here!
"Are you burning?" This was the question that the old revivalists of John Wesley's day would ask each other upon meeting – not "Hi! How are you?" "Are you burning?" That was the question that they asked, and it was the one that I was faced with last night at the beginning of my church's annual Burning! Conference.
"Are you burning?" Am I fanning into flame the gift of God within me? Am I treasuring the Holy Spirit and growing in intimacy with Him? Am I burning?
This weekend has already been such a blessing. We have had incredible revival fathers coming to worship and pray with us. Ken Gott from North England, Wes Hall from the International House of Prayer in Kansas City, Chad Dedmon from Bethel Church in Redding, and Jonathan and Melissa Helser (my favorite worship leaders in the entire world) have all joined us for a weekend of worship. It's been a time to honor the Father and to bask in His Spirit's presence, burning with passionate love for Jesus. WOW! Seriously, I don't even understand how to tell you the blessing that it has been to spend 2 days worshipping. Everything else melts away in His presence. Fear, worry, stress, finances...all gone. All the waves that distract us and giants that intimidate us dissolve when we turn to Him and ask Him to show Himself great.
Also, quick testimony: I did let go of those things and focused on Jesus this weekend, and let me tell you: He showed His goodness in a beautiful way. My first support deadline for the World Race is May 6th. I was supposed to have raised at least $3,500 of the $15,500 total for the Race by that day. Well, this afternoon a friend handed me a check while we were at the conference that blew me away. I set me just above the deadline, not a full 2 days before time was up. God is teaching me dependence in a new way (not just on His timing, but on His body!). It's really great. AHHH!!! JESUSSSSS!!!!! I just have to scream I'm so happy. His faithfulness stretches the length of the skies. God!! You're so good. Bless you!!
As I have worshipped these last few days, Holy Spirit has been speaking to me in a really wonderful way. I've felt frustrated with this blog, because I don't want to just post for the sake of posting. I want my words to have meaning and value. He answered. He gave me three new posts that will be coming out in the next week, in no particular order:
This has been an interesting week. Sunday was Easter, but having graduated, I no longer get vacation, and with my parents out of town, It sort of felt just like another Sunday. That was strange to me. But then I thought about how maybe I had put too much emphasis on Easter. It is just another Sunday. Because Jesus lives in me everyday, so everyday should be the celebration of Easter, right? Anyway, that was a little strange for me, but a good day none the less; I hung out with one of my favorite people ever that afternoon: Katharine Weislak. :) I am honored to have her as a friend. That night, we had a little cookout at Amanda Frateschi's house for the Leaders on Fire class. I really enjoyed the time of worship and teaching we had; those guys are a blessing.
Monday was a very full day. I got breakfast with Paul Dennis, Andrew Hamilton, and Sam Brown. We talked about our upcoming trip to South America, and then spent some time catching up. That was great. Then, though, I had to run home to my parents' house and take care of some things for them. I then went to REI and met up with an old friend, Angie, who is helping me figure out my gear for the Race. Between Angie and my friend Liz, I think I'll be able to get it all down. From there, I drove out to Jubala in North Raleigh to catch up with Taylor Kiker (champion among men) for some discipleship time. Got there early and Skyped with Samantha Bryant about the Argentina trip! So excited (even if Skype tends to be way too frustrating to be useful). After that, I drove downtown to grab coffee with Kara Cecil, who I hadn't seen in years. That was a wonderful blessing; I love how with old friends, you can pick right back up where you left off, even if it has been forever. When we finished up, I had to run to Ignite Group at Adam and Anna's house. After a great time with the Lord and my incredible community, I came home, washed some dishes and packed up. I drove down to Oriental, North Carolina where my family has been working all week. I didn't get into the house there till almost two, but I had a really sweet time with the Lord on the drive down (and being the only person on HWY 70, I felt free to pray my crazy little heart out).
I got back into Raleigh this evening, but I spent most of the week down at the coast. My grandparents had this huge three-story house on the riverfront of the Neuse. It was hit pretty hard in the last hurricane, but being almost 130 years old, it survived. My parents have been doing a lot of remodeling, and my sister is on spring break, so I went down to help them with the renovations.
To the right is our view from the front porch:
So, as you can see, it's been a busy week.
But something happened Monday that I've really had to spend some time processing. I think I'd like to share that now.
While I was meeting up with Taylor, we were talking about the importance of Spiritual Multiplication and praying to see if there was anyone on God's heart for whom to believe for more. I clearly heard the phrase, I have more for Eric. "Taylor," I asked, "is there someone in either of the Bible Studies you lead named Eric?" He shrugged and told me that there is not. "Okay," I brushed off the failure to accurately hear God's voice. "That was probably just me. Nevermind!"
We went on with our conversation. After, as I summarized before, I left Jubala and went to meet Kara at Morning Times. I arrived about 45 minutes early, and after catching up with Lianne, who I ran into there, I sat down in a corner and started making some administrative calls to prepare for the South America trip.
Suddenly, I was keenly aware that I was being observed. I turned away from the window and smiled at the man who was clearly eavesdropping on my phone call and then continued talking to Mr. Preston about financial things.
When I hung up, he cut in. "So you're doing some traveling, huh?" I responded warmly and we struck up a conversation. Well, actually, he did most of the talking. He told me about all the places he has been in his 40ish years of living (he's spent time in most of the countries on my route, so he has a lot to say). After a while, he asked me if I was going to learn from the people, or what the purpose of my trip was. I explained that I was going to South America to build a church and partner with a local body there to do outreach, and then I told him about the program I was doing after that (the Race). He scoffed.
"How American of you to do a program," he told me, himself being American. "So do you consider yourself to be some kind of...missionary?" I answered in the affirmative and attempted to explain my heart in missions. I was cut off though, as he told me that he can't imagine the kind of arrogance it would take to go in to a culture that has existed for longer than my own and try to tell them how to do things. He told me that it was really offensive. He went on to tell me that he didn't want to put words in my mouth, but that trying to go convert others to my way of thinking was really innappropriate. I tried to tell him that conversion was not my main goal, but that loving others was.
I felt a mix of emotions welling up within me. On one side, I felt anger and wanted to defend myself, as he was directly and specifically attacking everything that I want to do with my life. On the other side, I felt the heart of God breaking as this man completely misunderstood His character. I felt Holy Spirit peace come over me, as I chose to silently let him have his say. I did explain that I felt that much of the Church had misrepresented Jesus, and that my main goal was to present His love and grace in the most authentic way I could. I still didn't get to say much. Then, though, I felt God's heart towards injustice weliling up within me and pour over. This man told me that India had gotten it right; that it was beautiful and peaceful, and he had spent the best years of his life there. But what of the untouchables? If their system is so unjust towards so many, is it arrogance to want justice for those who are doomed to die? What about Swaziland, where the animistic religions tell men that raping infants (the only virgins left) will cure them of AIDS? Is that arrogance, or is that the right thing to do?
His perspective of going and learning from them is really beautiful. It is my heart in a huge way. I think Westerners do tend to do more harm than good by barging in and bringing our culture and not just our Jesus. So I tried to explain that I agreed with him in many ways, but when it came to the obvious injustices of these places, where the kingdom of darkness has its hold fast, he shut down. When I talked about AIDS in Africa, and how I had been forever changed by my experience there, he not only looked away, he actually started reading a book to avoid the conversation.
I didn't know what to do. I knew I had come on too strong, but I knew that I was also not speaking my words. I had surrendered my words and the Spirit was totally speaking through me. At that point, Kara walked upstairst. I told him that I needed to go, because my friend had arrived. Before I left though, I sensed the Lord asking me to honor him and his experiences. I asked if he had any wisdom or advice for me as I began a life of travel.
"Keep an open mind," he told me. I thanked him and reached out to shake his hand.
"My name is Caleb, by the way."
"Eric." He responded. I was stunned. The Holiness of God fell on me in a profound way. I hadn't misheard. I just misunderstood. I walked away to meet Kara.
We made small talk for a few minutes as we caught up. Then, though, I asked her if I could take a second. I thought back over the conversation, and realized that I had totally acted in self-control. God spoke to my spirit and said that He was honored by my conversation. I didn't need to change his mind, but I did need to represent a different version of Jesus than he had encountered before. And I did it! I was patient like Jesus; I was loving and careful with my words. I didn't defend myself or argue with my accuser. I just loved, and when I had the chance, I modeled a much different version of Christianity than he was describing (and prescribing) to me.
God told me to write him a note. I spent some time praying, and felt God ask me to repent for the arrogance of the Church and for any hint of arrogance in my own conversation with Him. I repented for how Jesus' body didn't look, sound, or smell very much like Jesus. And then I spoke life to him. I told him that I felt that God had more for him, and encouraged him to keep an open mind in His journey of Faith. I believe God is totally going to be changing His perspective.
That was a really hard experience for me. I had never had someone so directly and blatantly tell me that what I am doing with my life is wrong. He didn't beat around the bush, he didn't just encourage me to get a job before that stuff, and to, you know...be responsible about it. He actually, as a complete stranger, told me that what I had surrendered my life to was offensive and arrogant. That stung. That stung really bad. But it also reminded me of the passage in John where Jesus encouraged them that they would be hated, but that it is okay. That was one of the first times that I have felt hated for my love of the Lord.
But in that moment, I felt God speak to me and tell me, "The road ahead is marked with suffering. But if you choose Me every time, then I will be glorified every time. And Jesus wins every time, so choosing Me is choosing worship and is choosing winning, even when that doesn't feel like what is happening."
I feel like I understand James' call to "consider it pure joy, my brothers, when you face trials of many kinds" in a way that I just didn't before. My life is radical. I'm okay with that. I have experienced trials (this being a more minor one, although profound for me) for my faith in Jesus and my expectancy of His Spirit to move. But my life is also becoming one that constantly blesses others. That's how Jesus was. Many people were blessed, but some hated Him very much. But I know that He has more for the Erics. He told me so!
God I ask you to give me more opportunities to bless people, and greater opportunities to change the perspectives and hearts of the haterz (haha). Amen.
PS: If you haven't gotten to read my post about finances and ways to partner with me for this, please check it out! Click Here!
Well...The time has come. I've avoided this post for a long time. It's much easier for me to tell you about what God has done, or what I have learned, or how He's been sufficient, or how I've been weak. It's difficult for me to ask for help. But the World Race is bigger than I can do alone. Basically, in this post, I want to accomplish three things (I feel like a preacher, telling you what I'll tell you, telling you, and telling you what I told you. haha): I want you to better understand my needs, my heart, and my game-plan.
Here are the needs that I have right now:
The World Race costs $15,500. That is simultaneously so much and so little. For what it covers, this is really a very minimal price. This includes all of my food, lodging, transportation, ministry supplies, and international travel for almost a year. It is really unbelievable. It really is a lot of money though, and especially as I write this post, I recognize just how black and white money can be. It is either there or it isn't. So I need 15,500 really real, 'actually there' dollars. Beyond that, I also need to buy travelers' insurance, vaccinations, and the gear that I will use for the year.
Beyond this, I'm also leading and coordinating a mission trip to South America in June before launching for the Race in July.
We will be building a church in rural Argentina and then partnering with my church in Peru for outreach there. I need around $3000 for this trip, plus the cost of materials for building the church. I'm hoping that within the next week, I can be meeting with local construction firms to talk about donating to the building costs (PLEASE PRAY for these meetings, as they are sort of linchpins in this whole operation). The guys that I'm taking with me have graciously offered to try to cover my costs within theirs, as I am fundraising for the Race and doing all the logistics of the South America trip. I'm really blessed and honored by this offer, but I'd like to ask for prayer for this situation. If you don't really feel led to give toward the Race, but you have a heart for South America, please contact me! We have a lot of opportunity for partnerships toward this trip.
Here is my heart in all of this:
I don't really believe in fundraising for missions. Fundraising is a great thing for causes, non-profits, and that sort of thing, but I don't want your funds to be raised for me. God really made this clear to me. I'm not a good cause, and I'm not someone asking for hand-outs; I'm not something you should give your money to so that you feel better. All of that ends up being very hollow.
I believe in partnership. See, not everyone is called to the mission field overseas, but we are all called to missions. I know that as you send me out on these trips, your ability and choice to send me is answering that call. Also, I'm all about sharing, and I know that God is too, so I gladly give you, my ministry partners, credit for what Jesus does through me. I represent you, as I re-present Jesus. As you send me out, you are sowing into the harvest fields of the Kingdom. What a beautiful thing! That's why I'm so invested and so excited about blogging. I want you to know the fruit of your sown seed as it continues to bear fruit throughout my time overseas. I want you to pray for me. I don't take this year lightly. I'm expecting God to do big things in and through me, and I need your prayers to go out before me. I also want my life on the Race to be a good steward of your sown seed (of prayer and finances); I want to make the most of everyday! So pray against sickness, bad attitudes, demonic attack, and closed doors from the authorities in each country. Pray for God's Kingdom to come and His will to be done in and through me as it is in Heaven.
I don't want to come across as harsh or something, so let me clarify: I believe God can use "donating", but I believe that the heart behind it is ultimately finite and soulish instead of Spirit-led. God can totally redeem things like this though, and so while I'm so much more interested in receiving from people whose hearts are to sow into the Kingdom than from people who want to just give to a good cause, I also choose to be thankful for any donating that is done. I will receive it with the same gratitude and expectancy. I guess I feel the need to write all this because I have taken some flak for being too brazenly Christian about all this. But the more I think about it, the more sure I am that "I am not ashamed of the Gospel of Peace! For it is the power of God unto salvation!" (Rom. 1:16), and the more sure I am that I don't want money for money's sake, and I don't want to do good things for goodness's sake. I want supporters, not donators. Everything I do, I want to do for the Glory of God. And so every gift I receive, I gladly and boldly declare is for the Kingdom of God.
Here is my game-plan:
As of right now, God has (through my wonderful friends, and several anonymous gifts) blessed me with $2,017.50 of the $15,500 total. The World Race has given us specific support-raising goals to keep us on track. They are as follows:
$3,500Due 5/5/2012 (2 weeks before training camp)
$6,500Due 6/17/2012 (2 weeks prior to the trip)
$11,000Due 10/1/2012 (End of 3 months on the field)
$15,500Due 1/1/2013 (End of 6 months on the field)
So my first support goal is exactly 1 month away! I only need $1,482.50 to reach this goal! I think that's pretty exciting.
I have finished my newsletter and have printed the first round of those. If you would like me to mail you one, please send me your contact information! Those will be out very soon.
There are several ways that you can give, and the process is really easy thanks to Adventures in Missions. There are two main ways to give: online or by mailing in a check to the Adventures in Missions office. If you click on the Support Me tab on the left side of my blog it will walk you through the process whether you are sending in a check or donating online. Here is some important information regarding support raising.
Checks can take up to two weeks to show up in my account, while online transactions take up to four days.
If you use a debit or credit card to donate, 3% of the amount donated will be used for processing fees by the bank. If you donate through a bank transfer, 2% will be used.
Supporters who chose to donate monthly will not have any processing fees - 100% of the donation will be credited to the account, if they choose to set it up through AIM's automatic monthly Electronic Funds Transfer program. If this interests you, let me know & I can send you the details and forms.
If you are making a large one-time donation, I recommend that the donation be sent via mail so that 100% of the amount is credited to my account.
All donations are tax-deductible.
Adventures in Missions does not accept cash donations
Please make checks payable to: Adventures in Missions and write my name on the memo line.
I would really love to meet up individually and talk more specifically about prayer/support needs. Please let me know if you want to grab coffee. I'm so in. :)
Also, just for fun, I came up with some creative support strategies in case you want to help, but don't know how.
If you have gift cards to an outdoors store that you don't think you will use, I can use it for gear. Buying the equipment and the kind of clothing that you need to rough it for a year is not the cheapest, as it turns out!
If you have frequent flyer miles I can use to get to South America, that would literally change everything about the trip. That is the majority of my costs, and having that taken care of would be the biggest load off of my back.
I also need to buy a ticket to get to my launch destination. My squad will fly individually and meet up in a to-be-determined US city (probably Washington DC or NYC, as my first country is Ireland and they have the largest international airports in the northern east coast) from where we will launch officially. If you have frequent flyer miles or want to road trip to there, I'm totally down.
Throughout this upcoming year, I will be traveling to Peru, Chile, and Argentina, prior to the Race, and then to Ireland, Ukraine, Russia, Kenya, Tanzania, Mozambique, India, Nepal, Cambodia, Malaysia, and one other unannounced Asian country. If any of these places are dear to your heart, and you would like to "adopt a country" for the year, let me know! The Race ends up costing just about $1410 per month, so if 2 people adopted each country (at $705 each), 22 people could completely cover my World Race, and 4 more could cover the South America trip!
I realized that my half-birthday is this month! April 25th (and I checked…that considers leap day, and is still correct). For my half-birthday, would you consider calculating how much money you spend on an average day or in an average week and sow half of that total into the Kingdom as a half-birthday present? If all my Facebook friends gave $5, then in 1 day we could bring in over $10,000.
This whole numbers thing is so hard for me. It isn't how I think, but it is so good for me to be stretched in this way. I will be keeping you posted as I have financial updates for you.
Thank you for reading, sowing, and caring so much!
I feel like God changed me all over again tonight at church. As we worshipped, I was so overwhelmed with the love of God, that I couldn't even sing. I just collapsed onto the floor and sunk into the incredible arms of my Father. In the most overwhelming, most loving way that I could have imagined, He showed me how incapable I am. I CAN'T DO ANYTHING. I am SO unable, so insufficient. Sure, for most of my life, I've tried to be enough, to do enough, to pray enough, to love enough. But that just left me empty and broken (in exactly the same place as before). You see, I can't. HAH! I said it. I CAN'T! I CAN'T! I CAN'T! I CAN'T! I CAN'T! I CAN'T! And I don't want to. I don't want to live in my own strength, to love in my own strength, to be in my own strength, to do in my own strength.
As I emptied my soul before the Lord on the floor tonight, He gave me a new desire for dependence. I want His love to love with. I want His grace to pour out. I need Him more than ever. I can't do anything in and of myself, but I don't have to. You see, HE CAN!!! JESUS!! You are my strength, my refuge, my all-sufficiency! Without You, I am absolutely nothing, but with You, I am filled. I am complete in your presence. You are enough! You are the very source of life. Thank You for drawing me near. For making me able to rest in Your presence. I will never leave. He can, and HE HAS! Praise You Lord!
As I tried to recover from this revelation (which is so simple when written out; words cannot do justice to the beauty of the reality of Jesus's grace for me!), God hit me with another reality. He let me experience a taste of His heart for His lost sons and daughters who are perishing without coming to know the greatness of the Love that He has lavished on us. I felt His passion, His love, His anger toward the enemy, and His urgency for the proclamation of the Good News. He gave me a new heart for evangelism God, don't let me get over what You started tonight. Replace the lamp of my first love, that burns with holy fear!
In Leaders on Fire, we had a session today about evangelism. Because I facilitate the class, I have not really internalized and processed most of the lessons taught for myself (as I am doing my best to make sure the students get the most out of the class), but today was different. God really redeemed my understanding of the term evangelism. When I hear the term, I tend to think of the hyper-religious "soul winning" techniques for which the Bible belt is infamous.
Do you know where the concept of "Evangelism" came from? Well, I didn't either. But in class, Stacy Long (one of my pastors at CTF) explained that it predates the ministry of Christ. Evangelism comes from a compounded Greek word that mean "angel" or "messenger" and "good news." Caesar sent out evangelists as messengers of his good news. They would go ahead of His armies to the cities and villages that were about to be taken over. The evangelists' job was to announce the coming kingdom and to preach all the good things that would happen as a result. They would be protected from the attacks of their enemies. They would gain citizenship, government, a solid justice system, and all the other perks that came with being brought into the kingdom. It really was a cause for rejoicing.
So Jesus sent His disciples out to preach the good news that the Kingdom of Heaven was at hand. That is such a cause for rejoicing! When we are brought into His Kingdom, we are protected from the attacks of our enemy. We become sons, which is even greater than citizens, and we get grace, which is far greater than justice (although in His grace, He is totally just!) They were to announce the Kingdom coming by demonstrating it with the love and power of God. Show and tell, as it were. How often do we make it about proving points or winning arguments? God is not glorified in the winning of arguments, He is glorified in the demonstration of His character: love, meekness, self-sacrificing, etc. and in the demonstration of His power: healing the sick, casting out demons, etc. I'm reminded of two things. The first is a famous quote by the miracle-worker St. Francis of Assisi: "Preach the Gospel at all times, and when necessary, use words." He was a man who brought the reality of the Kingdom wherever He went. The second is 1 Cor. 13. If we are to glorify God with our lives, then His love must be at the very foundation of everything we do. This chapter makes it clear that without love, everything is nothing. You see, I can't. But as He fills me and I become His vessel of love, He can!
Hey friends!
Wow. Blogging is a discipline; one that it turns out is really easy to neglect.
A few weeks have gone by since I posted last, and coming back, I'd like to switch gears a little bit. I feel like a lot of my posts thus far have been pretty safe. I've written about the things that God taught me, and I wrote them in a grammatically correct, thematically compelling way. But I feel like I still protected myself, sort of. I filtered how I felt and realized that I came off, in a lot of ways, as though I had arrived. I wrote about the things that I'd gotten under control, shared the experiences that I'd gotten revelation about, and seemed pretty put together overall.
Today, I'd like to be a little more raw. I'm overwhelmed. Nothing around me is consistent. I don't know how this will all work out. Since graduating from university in December, I've entered this whole new season of life, and (as I tend to do) I dove in head first.
I've been working, doing web design. I've loved it! But I've also found myself to be in over my head, incompetent when it comes to business management, and consistently pushing deadlines with clients.
Beyond design/film work, I've also been teaching an ESL class where we work with students in writing songs as a tool for learning English. I've been blown away by the students' openness and creative abilities. It's beautiful how they are forming a community over shared hopes and hurts. Opportunities for sharing the Gospel are growing really beautifully as relationships are built. So blessed to be getting to do this.
I'm also leading an ignite group at church. The small community that we have is so great. I'm really blessed by everyone there, and especially by my co-leader Selah. She's such a great example to me.
I'm also teaching the leadership class at church with Amanda. It has been really great to see the impact and change in everyone already as they hear these teachings and catch what God has to say to them. I'm being wrecked all over again each Sunday.
I'm also preparing for the trip that I'm leading to Argentina, Chile, and Peru in June. If you haven't heard about it, please visit http://www.calebdurham.com/argentina and watch the video about what we are doing. God is opening up huge doors. Again, I'm blown away and so blessed to be a part of His work (as I am with each of these bullet points), but this more than almost anything else is stretching me. I'm planning this trip myself, through doors that God has opened to me over the last few years. I'm doing all the logistics and detail work, which is so beyond my natural ability...as you may know (or will probably find out at some point) I'm not really great at the fineprint and details; organizing this trip has been such a great chance to grow in new ways.
I'm also fundraising for the World Race. This has been such a blessing when I've gotten to do it, but I feel like this has been pushed to the back of the list pretty consistently. I think I'm finally getting on top of this soon though. If you would like a news and support letter, please contact me! I'm sending these out now!
I think my theme recently has been "His strength is made perfect in my weakness." I feel so beyond my own ability. So blessed, but so overwhelmed. So unable, so weak, but somehow so able, so strong. I feel like because of changing circumstances, every foundation that I've built my life on is shaking. Foundations of school, church, city, and even friends have seemed like sand instead of rock. Not because any of those things were actually weak or falling apart, but because none of those were meant to be foundations. My ONLY strong tower is Jesus Himself. Everything else is overwhelms me. In Him alone I find peace. he still tells me the same thing: "You are my son. You are capable. You are loved. You are enough. You've got this! Trust me!" When I choose to lean not on my own understanding and focus on His presence, I feel peace flowing down. But whenever I take my eyes off Him and look at the waves around me, I sink in fear. Jesus! Save me from sinking! I choose You and Your way. I trust You, Your plans, Your strategies, and Your timing. I surrender." Kim Walker sings a song called "I Surrender" and one of the lines that flows out through the song is Your love makes it worth it! Your love makes it worth it all! This has been God's promise to me, that His love is worth any and all barriers and hard things that I face. Nothing can separate me from His love, and nothing is too big or too scary to keep me from it. As I look to Jesus I realize that if I could do it without Him, I wouldn't need to rely on Him. So God, I'm relying. I'm so beyond myself now. I feel like I'm in waist-deep water and I'm losing my foothold, but that's okay. I'm ready to flow with You Lord.
We serve a God who is so good, so loving, and so life-giving. It blows my mind. His grace abounds and brings streams of water into my desert. He is constantly the same, but constantly fresh. We, like the angels, stand now with unveiled faces, having the fullness of God before us, yet also having the opportunity to be newly amazed every second as we see new sides of His face and character. Wow. Praise You Father! I choose worship today. I choose Your presence. All honor, power, and glory be unto Your name forever!
I just started a new book entitled Seven Spirits Burning: The Christocentric Operation of the Seven Spirits of God. In it the author delves into the scriptural implications of the sevenfold nature/ministry of the Holy Spirit. Prophetic visions of the throneroom of Heaven found in Revelation and Isaiah mention this reality of the seven (greek "hepta", which translates to either "seven" or "sevenfold") Spirits of God. It's a topic that I've been curious about for a long time, and one that seems to have been largely avoided by theologians. So I was excited to read this book, but as I picked it up, God touched my heart in a different way than I expected. This is an excerpt from the introduction, aptly titled "The Person of the Holy Spirit."
Bible commentator William Barclay is right in saying, “all apocalyptic literature is necessarily cryptic. It is continually attempting to describe the indescribable, to say the unsayable, to paint the unpaintable.”
We may not analytically understand all the archetypes and metaphors of prophetic literature. However, we do have intimate fellowship with the Mystery. The Mystery is a person. And every enigma aims only to draw us into the revelation of Him.
This book is about the operations and personality of Holy Spirit. To understand Holy Spirit, we look at the person of Christ. And in seeing Christ, we see the heart of the Father.
Holy Spirit is the Spirit of Jesus. He is not an impersonal force, but rather our Friend, Comforter, Counselor, Guide, Teacher and constant Helper.
As the Paraclete, He empowers us to live a victorious life as believers, doing the work of ministry through us: preaching the gospel, healing the sick, raising the dead and exorcizing the demonic. He builds the Kingdom through us. He quickens us in the many various callings and vocations to which believers attend in the marketplace – whether media, government, education, medical professions, the arts, the financial or technology sector. Whatever secular or clerical calling is yours, Holy Spirit is there creating and moving through your sphere of influence. The Kingdom of God is not about better church meetings. Holy Spirit wants to work individually through you to release the substance of the Kingdom throughout society. He is an artist, longing to paint His love through the medium of your life.
But it would be a grave mistake to believe Holy Spirit is merely a means to some greater end. He is not simply a force that makes you more productive. Not just a mechanical power that helps you to win more souls or build a bigger ministry.
There is no other end except for Him. He is not just an enabler. He is the very Goal Itself. God is not looking for a performance oriented “purpose-driven” church. God is looking for an intimacy-driven church. A Spirit-driven, Glory-driven church that is compelled by love for Him. As a matter of fact, God is the One driving His church, and we are being chauffeured by grace! God is not looking for moral people who do good works on His assembly line. He does not need workers; He wants bridal lovers. There is no other purpose than His Glory. If there is work to be done, then the lovers will outwork the workers.
In new ways today God, I surrender to Your Spirit. Chauffer me with Your grace, Lord. I choose intimacy over purpose. I choose to seek to accommodate Your presence, not unbelief. I trust you God.
Amen
On Sunday, I preached at church. The message God put on my heart went hand in hand with the one He gave me to teach earlier that week (See my previous post, Practice what you Teach).
The Lord has been highlighting to me how the ideas of "sacred" and "secular" no longer exist. Instead, now we have kingdom. And places, people, situations, attitudes, etc. can be rooted in the Kingdom of Heaven or in the Kingdom of this world. This is so beautiful, because Luke 12:32 tells us “Fear not, little flock, for it is your Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom." We have rivers of living water flowing from within us, and so when we walk into a room, streams flow in the deserts. Life grows out of death, and hope is released in places of hopelessness. We speak and destiny grows. We step and water flows. We give a word and God plants seeds of truth that grow, choking out the lies of the enemy.
When we try to make ourselves fit in places we don't, we are miserable and we spread misery. That's what happens when you think that you have to fit into the system. For most of church history, we have believed that it is somehow more holy to be in the sacred sector. So you have all these people who definitely should not have been ministers trying to force themselves into that job. That's why, for those of you who have studied classic literature, almost every friar, parish priest, pastor, or preacher was painted as an incredibly tormented or tormenting person. It breaks my heart. We have so misrepresented Jesus. Jesus wasn't harsh, cold, cruel, or doubleminded. He was just obedient. There is peace in obedience. He only did what He saw the Father doing (John 5:19).
How freeing is that? If God has gifted you to do business, please do that. But if God has blessed you to teach, don't feel the need to do the responsible thing and work a day job. Teach! If we live in New Testiment style community and walk out Christ in me the hope of Glory (Col. 1:27), presenting our bodies as living sacrifices, which is our spiritual act of worhsip (Rom. 12:1), we will find joy even in the most difficult of circumstances. This is life.
I love Robert Farrar Capon. He embodies this; doing what you love and loving what you do. He wrote a beautiful book on the scandalous grace of God called Between Noon and Three, some of my favorite reflections on the parables of Christ, and a really great cookbook called The Supper of the Lamb.
In regards to this topic of enjoying our freedom to obey, he has this great quote that seems to be alluding me, somehow. Basically, his thoughts on the issue are this: "If you can't find some way to enjoy your ministry, then (for everyone else's sake, if not for your own) please stop." I laughed when I first heard it. But that is so true. Joy is, I believe, the clearest sign of the Spirit's presence, and so if you aren't experiencing joy, you may want to reexamine your motives and actions. In obedience, there is joy. In sacrifice, there is stress and striving, but in obedience, there is bliss.
When I was preparing my sermon, the clearest word God gave me was this: Obedience is a supernatural privilege that always leads to good fruit. And so I leave you with that. Be blessed, and learn to rest in His beautiful plan.
I have a heart to teach. God placed it there, and He has been developing it for a while. This semester, He has opened some new doors to develop it even more. I'm teaching a class at church called Leaders on Fire*, which is a really wonderful look at the foundations of our faith, our relationship with the Lord, His heart for discipleship, His love, His Spirit, etc. I'm so excited to see what God does through it. When I took the class last year, it really flipped my perspective on so much of Christianity and brought me into a new place of freedom in my walk with the Lord.
I'm also teaching an Ignite Group*. In both, I taught about Hearing God's Voice this week. It's funny because it is such a foundational message, but is one that I see missing in almost every Christian circle I've ever encountered.
Jesus told us that His sheep hear His voice (John 10:27). He stood up to the enemy by declaring that "Man does not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God" (Matt 4:4). Here the greek word "Rhema" denotes the living, spoken word as apposed to the concrete written word ("Logos"). This means that as Christians, our life does not come by reading the written word of God (in fact, Paul tells us in 2 Cor 3:6, that "The letter kills, but the Spirit brings life"), but when we read the written word and the Word Himself (John 1) draws the letters off of the page and places them into our hearts, it becomes the Rhema (spoken) word. So much of the ministry of the Holy Spirit is based in this spoken, living, active Word. It goes beyond just the revelation of Scripture (although it always brings greater depth to the truthes that are written there), it is life itself. Hearing God's voice (what He is saying for right now, today, about you and your idenity in Christ, about others and your ability to bless them, etc.) is so foundational to living.
I've recently begun really enjoying reading the meanings and connotations and origins of the words in Scripture. "Rhema" is derived from "Rheo", a word that suggests the idea of pouring forth. That reminds me of Jesus' words in John 7:38, that "Rivers of Living Water will flow within [whoever believes in Me]", which also reflects the meaning of two Hebrew words. In Hebrew, two common words for prophet also reflect the idea of water: "Naba" is a word that literally means to 'bubble up'. This denotes the feeling of a natural spring flowing from within. In ‘Naba’ a person fixes their eyes on Jesus and tunes into spontaneous flow. The second word, the Hebrew word for false prophecy, is "Ziyd." It literally means to ‘boil up’. So instead of it bubbling up naturally it is cooked or boiled up by effort. In ‘Ziyd’ a person fixes their eyes on the desires of self and devises a word or a vision.
When we don't know how to hear God's voice, we often feel the need to cook up words to feel relevant. The heart behind it could be so good (to bless, encourage, challenge, etc.) but if the word is rooted in my own thought, and not in the Voice of the Father, then it is ultimately just that; but if we learn to hear God's voice, we can speak words that bring life where it wasn't before, we can encourage with supernatural encouragement, and reveal truth where lies have previously clouded reality. It's beautiful.
Basically, hearing God's voice has become natural to me, but as I was teaching the other day, the Lord spoke to me and brought a lot of conviction.
I realized that when it comes to my World Race squad, I've shied away from getting to know them. I naturally tend to make judgements about people, and I didn't want to get to know them based on the way they presented themselves on Facebook (because that's not real, and I don't want to meet them having already decided things about them that aren't real). Then God said, "I appreciate that sentiment, but there is a better way. Ask me how I see them. See them with heaven's eyes. See what they could be. Believe in what I believe about them." WHOA. Okay God, what do you want to say?
So as people came to mind, I started messaging them with the words God spoke to them. They all told me that it was exactly what they needed to hear, that it was the perfect time, the perfect truth. Thank you Lord! That's not me! That's You jumping at the chance to minister through someone who makes himself available. You are so good! I want to choose Your better way every time.
You're the best, Jesus!
Caleb
* I go to a church called Catch the Fire, so all of our names are "firey": Ignite Group, Leaders on Fire, Burning nights of worship...even Little Sparks kids ministry! Haha. I love it. God is a consuming fire and His eyes burn like fire and His Spirit manifests as a flame, and I want to be more and more firey every day! I want to be His Burning One! Come Lord! Burn in me!
This is my friend Tori. She is an incredible person, and I am honored to call her one of my closest friends. She loves more genuinely, believes more recklessly, and trusts more fully than almost anyone that I've ever met. She models the Kingdom principles of boasting in our weaknesses, living out of intimacy with God, loving out of the love we have first received from God, and choosing to go low (being poor in spirit, hungering and thirsting for righteousness, meakness...and all the beatitudes) in such a beautiful way. And she challenges me so much.
This morning she is getting on a plane bound for LAX. When she gets off the plane, she'll find out the next step. God just called her to go, and so she's following. She hopes in and believes in the promises God has made to her: to never leave her or forsake her, to provide for her, to use her as a blessing to people who need His love. She exemplifies trust to me. And God knows that trust is a concept on which I need clearer revelation.
Trust leads to faith in God as my provider. I don't have to push for, strive for, or manipulate to get God's provision. I need to trust. If God has called me to the world race, He will bring me through it. He will place it on people's hearts to support me. I can inform them...$15,500 is a lot of money. He knows that. But He's got it. Fundraising is not my job. It is God's. I get to partner with Him in it. Tori doesn't know where she's sleeping tomorrow night. I too can trust God to do what He says He'll do.
Trust leads me to know that God has something so much better than I could hope for or imagine. In life, in marriage, in ministry, in tomorrow. I trust Him to reveal His wonderful plans, and I get to align myself with His perfect will.
Trust also allows me to question theological realities about God without questioning His character (which leads to doubt). I feel as though the longer I have walked with God, the less I am shaken in my relationship with Him. I've swung in different directions on several points theologically, but I've clung to the person of Christ, and not the idea of Him. I don't know if that makes sense, but it is something that I see as very beautiful in my relationship with Him. I have leaned toward Calvinism and I've leaned toward Armenianism, I have leaned toward Dispensationalism and I've leaned toward Continuationalism. I realize that I've moved theologically in some significant (yet still equally–if not more–scripturally sound, obvi.) ways, but my relationship has only strengthened through these times. Because I trust in the person of Jesus, and not the idea of Him.
Something that Tori constantly reminds me is that love has a face. His name is Jesus. Jesus told us "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No man comes to the Father but by me" (John 14:6). Truth is not a belief; it is not an idea. Truth is a person. Jesus is truth. So as I learn to trust Him, I learn to follow Him past doctrine and into truth, out of the realm of ideas (where everything is messy and lines are easily blurred and definitions are misrepresented) and into the realm of reality, where Jesus is the perfect revelation of the Father.
Holy Spirit, take me there: into that secret place with You; where You're so tangible, and so real; where You impart to me Jesus' heart and You restore my desire for unity within the body of Christ and for the Kingdom to be established in places where darkness currently rules. Thank You! I worship You. I magnify Your name. I lift You up high. Be honored in my life, in my love, in my city, and in our world. In Jesus' name,
Amen
I got back into Raleigh this evening, but I spent most of the week down at the coast. My grandparents had this huge three-story house on the riverfront of the Neuse. It was hit pretty hard in the last hurricane, but being almost 130 years old, it survived. My parents have been doing a lot of remodeling, and my sister is on spring break, so I went down to help them with the renovations. 
Haha. I love it. God is a consuming fire and His eyes burn like fire and His Spirit manifests as a flame, and I want to be more and more firey every day! I want to be His Burning One! Come Lord! Burn in me!